45 Hilarious Historical Moments That Sound Too Good to Be True

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26Agonizing Flatulence

Agonizing Flatulence

Adolf Hitler took 28 different pills for “agonizing flatulence.” Treatment included cocaine, amphetamines, human placenta, strychnine, and atropine. Violent mood swings, euphoria, attention lapses, and erratic behavior were among the noted side effects. His extreme diet, recurring stomach problems (likely psychosomatic) and reliance on quack drug pushers like Morell made life at his dinner table terrible for his guests.


27. Anal Sampling Mechanism is a reflex which detects the contents of the rectal vault and allows for voluntary flatulence to occur without unexpected voiding of feces. So yeah, there's a nerve in your a*s that lets you fart without sh*tting yourself.


28. In 1919 a tank containing 2,300,000 gallons of molasses used to sweeten drinks burst during a heatwave, flooding the streets of Boston with molasses traveling 35 mph killing 21 and injuring 150. The event has been called the Great Molasses Flood and for many decades since, residents have claimed that on hot summer days the area still smelled of molasses.


29. In London, in 1814, a vat containing over 610,00 liters of beer ruptured, causing other vats to burst. As a result, more than 1,470,000L of beer burst out into the streets. The London Beer Flood wave destroyed two homes and crumbled the wall of a nearby pub. 8 people died.


30. Joseph Stalin sent several assassins to kill Yugoslavia’s dictator Josip Broz Tito. After a 5th failed attempt, Tito wrote to Stalin “Stop sending people to kill me. We’ve already captured 5 of them, one with a bomb and another with a rifle. If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow and I won't have to send a second.”


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31Achmed Sukarno

Achmed Sukarno

The KGB tried to blackmail Indonesian President Achmed Sukarno with videotapes of the president having sex with Russian women disguised as flight attendants. Before starting the blackmail, KGB invited Sukarno in a small private movie theatre and showed him the pornographic video, in which he was playing the main part. KGB agents were expecting him to get really frightened and that he would agree to cooperate with them at once, but everything happened vice versa: Sukarno fondly thought that it was a gift from the Soviet government, so he asked for more copies to take them back to Indonesia and show them in movie theatres. Sukarno said to flabbergasted agents that the people of Indonesia would be very proud of him, if they could see him doing the nasty with Russian girls.


32. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart once wrote a 6-Part Canon titled “Leck mich im Arsch,” which loosely translates to "Lick me in the Arse.” He also used to keep a journal detailing his farts.


33. Franklin D. Roosevelt once entered a room unannounced during a visit by Winston Churchill. Churchill happened to be naked (having just stepped out of the bath), and Churchill, being Churchill said: “The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom has nothing to hide from the President of the United States!”


34. Danish astronomer, alchemist, and nobleman Tycho Brahe lost his nose after challenging another scientist to a duel to settle once and for all whose mathematical formula was better. He wore a metal prosthetic nose for the rest of his life. He also had a pet moose that died when it drank too much beer and fell down a flight of stairs. In 1601, Tycho attended a party during which he held himself from going to the bathroom, subsequently suffered a burst bladder, and died 10 days later.


35. In the late 1910s, the British Army was looking for Michael Collins to arrest him as he was part of Dáil Eireann (an Irish state Government which the British did not recognize as they did not grant Ireland independence). Collins was the head of intelligence and was in charge of IRA hit squads so he was a priority for the British to find and arrest. You'd think the man would go into hiding somewhere right? Nope, he rode around Dublin city on a bicycle in plain view because the British army had no idea what he looked like.


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36Potoooooooo

Potoooooooo

There was a famous 18th-century racehorse named Potoooooooo. His original name was Potatoes. Potatoes acquired the strange spelling of his nickname, Pot-8-Os, when a stable lad was asked to write it on a feed bin. The lad’s version, Potoooooooo, was said to amuse his lordship so he kept it.


37. During the Victorian Era, “Female Hysteria” was a catchall term for many feelings of malaise, including when a woman was horny. Doctors “treated” the ailment by masturbating the women until they reached “hysterical paroxysm”, or as we call it today, an orgasm. The electric vibrator was the fifth home electronic ever invented. Doctors created vibrators after growing tired of masturbating ‘hysterical’ women. It was then prescribed to women who experienced “hysteria.”


38. Before the invention of the stethoscope, physicians would literally put their ears on chests to auscultate. This led to René Laennec, a French physician, to create the stethoscope because he got too embarrassed to check the heartbeat of a female patient by tapping at her chest. So, he rolled up a sheet of paper to create a tube, and then placed it on her chest. The method worked, and the stethoscope was invented.


39. Ed Kemper is an American serial killer and necrophile who murdered 10 people, including his paternal grandparents and mother. He befriended the very police officers investigating his murders, and would socialize with them at a bar called the “Jury Room”. They called him “Big Ed” and never suspected him. He looked absolutely terrifying at 6'9", 300 lbs. When he initially confessed, they thought he was pulling a prank. After his arrest, once he was left alone in a cell with FBI agent Robert Ressler, who was interviewing him. At the end of the conversation, Ressler hit the buzzer to summon a guard to let him out of the cell. Several minutes went by and no guard came. Kemper picked up on the agent’s unease. He said, “If I went apesh*t in here, you’d be in a lot of trouble, wouldn’t you?” Kemper said, getting up from his chair to accentuate his mass. “I could screw your head off and place on the table to greet the guard.” The guard didn’t come for 30 minutes. Ressler, however, managed to talk Kemper out of snapping his neck.


40. In 1998, a man named Clarence Elkins was convicted for the murder of his mother-in-law and assault of his 6-year-old niece. He was denied an appeal on rape and murder charges despite proving the DNA didn’t match. His wife worked hard to exonerate him and found a likely suspect who was in the same jail as him. Clarence collected a cigarette he’d used and there was DNA match. The prosecutor still refused to overturn the conviction until the attorney general publicly shamed him. After he was released, it was discovered that the real killer, a convicted sex offender who lived next door to the victim, had once asked a police officer why they hadn't arrested him for the murder yet.


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41Ricky Ray Rector

Ricky Ray Rector

After killing a man in a restaurant, Ricky Ray Rector at first agreed to turn himself in to authorities but instead shot the police officer who had negotiated his surrender in the back, killing him. He then shot himself in the head in a suicide attempt. The attempt effectively resulted in a lobotomy. In prison, he saved part of his last meal for "after the execution."


42. Canadian child killer Peter Woodcock due to his crimes was given intense treatment over many years, deemed safe, and given a weekend pass from the mental institution he was incarcerated under supervision. He was being supervised on the pass by Bruce Hamill, a former patient and also a murderer. Woodcock had previously convinced Hamill that an 'alien brotherhood' would solve his problems if he helped kill another Brockville inmate, Dennis Kerr. On July 13, 1991, Hamill went to a hardware store, bought a plumber's wrench, hatchet, knives, and a sleeping bag, then went to the Brockville hospital and signed out Woodcock on his first publicly escorted day pass. They lured Kerr to a secluded spot and butchered him. Hamill took a handful of over-the-counter sleeping pills and waited for the aliens to come. Woodcock then went to the town police station and confessed. He claimed that the treatment they gave at the mental institution “served only to make him more adept at manipulating others.”


43. Indiana’s most notorious serial killer Belle Gunness murdered up to 40 people. after she moved from Norway to Chicago in 1881. She killed most of her suitors and boyfriends, and her two daughters, Myrtle and Lucy. She may also have killed both of her husbands and all of her children, on different occasions. When she was about to be exposed as a killer, she burned down her home and feigned death while successfully framing the only potential witness to her crimes, who died a year later in prison. She managed to vanish with a small fortune in premarital gifts and insurance payments and was never seen again.


44. A drifter named Theodore Coneys, a.k.a. the Denver Spider-Man broke into a man’s house and hid in his tiny attic. He ended up murdering the man in 1941 and then continued to hide in the attic for months during the murder investigation, while the murdered man’s wife still lived in the house. Two police officers on a stakeout outside the house saw something move in an upstairs window. They rushed inside and up to the attic where they saw a man trying desperately to squeeze into a tiny gap. He’d been living in a tiny hole in the wall this whole time, occasionally making brief forays downstairs for food and water. He was dubbed the Spiderman for both the weird length of his fingers and for the length of time he’d spent living in his spider-hole in the attic.


45. Israel Keyes was a serial killer who had no preferred victim type and never killed in the same area twice. He had no connection to any of his victims and usually killed far from home. He planned murders long ahead of time and took extraordinary action to avoid detection. For one murder, he flew to Chicago and rented a car to get to Vermont, then used a murder kit he’d hidden two years earlier. When shopping, he kept his phone off and only paid in cash. In spite of being so ridiculously careful and methodical, in the end, he used his victim’s debit card multiple times until he was apprehended.

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