49 Facts Too Funny To Be True But They Are 100% Accurate

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1Ohio Car Accident

In the entire state of Ohio in 1895, there were only two cars on the road, and the drivers of these two cars crashed into each other.


2. In the late 1700s, a letter appeared in major London newspaper complaining that England was being forced to take deported Prussian prisoners. The British were furious and wanted it stopped. The Prussians became upset because the uproar implied that England was too good for Prussian prisoners. Both governments became involved, and they were on the brink of war before it all unraveled as a hoax. The original letter, it was learned years later, had been written by Benjamin Franklin, who was spending six months in England as an ambassador and was simply bored, just stirring up trouble and sitting back and watching.


3. The first “Mooning” in recorded history was 66 A.D., where a Roman soldier mooned Jewish pilgrims on their way to Jerusalem. This caused a riot, an over-response by the Roman military, and the death of thousands.


4. In 1821, Greece was under the control by the Turks. In Greece's fight for independence, a Turkish garrison was besieged by Greek fighters on the Acropolis. When the Turks were running short on bullets, they began to dismantle the marble columns to use the lead within as bullets. The Greeks sent them ammunition with the message: “Here are bullets, don't touch the columns.”


5. Early in the Spanish Civil War, there was a Nationalist garrison under siege. Having local air superiority, Nationalists decided to airdrop supplies. The humor comes from their chosen method of making sure the packages got to the ground without being damaged. They didn't use a parachute, but instead, they strapped a turkey to each package. It couldn’t carry the load, but it could slow it a bit on the way down and unlike a parachute, you can eat a turkey.


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6Liechtenstein’s War

During Liechtenstein’s last military engagement in 1886, none of the 80 soldiers sent were injured, and 81 returned, including a new Italian 'friend' they made along the way.


7. When members of the Third Estate stormed the Bastille and kick-started the French Revolution, the infamous fortress and prison held just 7 old men captive, none of them political prisoners. They were the only ones in there at the time and one of them was a drunk, lunatic Irish guy named Whyte de Malleville who had no idea what was going on.


8. During the opium war, the Chinese set monkeys on fire and launched them at British ships in an attempt to cause chaos.


9. In the time it took between the announcement of Germany’s surrender during World War 2 on the radio to Joseph Stalin addressing the nation 22 hours later, Russians partied so hard that Moscow literally ran out of vodka.


10. The direct cause of World War 1 was Archduke’s Assassination. What many people don't know is that the initial assassination attempt failed when the bomb blew up the car behind Ferdinand's. The only reason he was assassinated is because one of the terrorists (a Serbian organization called the Black Hand) stopped to buy a sandwich and saw Ferdinand in the store. Also, the man who threw the grenade that blew up the car behind Franz Ferdinand did not know the grenade had a 10-second timer. It gets better. He took the cyanide supplied by the Black Hand to kill himself after the attempt, and it was expired, so he just ended up throwing up a bunch. To "seal the deal" of death, he jumped into a near-by canal that was only two inches deep. It didn't turn out so great for him.


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11Three Popes

One of the funniest incidents to happen during the 14th century was the great schism of the Catholic Church. A bunch of cardinals walked into Rome to elect a new pope, and an angry mob declared it will kill all of them if they didn’t elect an Italian pope instead of a French one. An Italian pope was elected. So they returned back to France and elected a French pope to be the new pope. Now there were two popes at the same time, each saying the other one was a phony, splitting up Europe into two religious groups, each ready to use religion as their excuse to annihilate the other. The Catholic Church’s solution was to elect another pope, only for absolutely no one to stand behind him. So now there were three popes, all of them saying the other was illegitimate and all of their followers were going to hell. Finally, the Catholic Church got rid of all the popes and elected a new one, and this time they made sure no angry mobs were there.


12. Caligula (Roman Emperor) once held a large meeting solely for the purpose to tell the attendants, that if he wanted he can have them all killed. He then dismissed the meeting. He also once waged war against Poseidon. He led 10,000 soldiers to the sea and ordered them to stab it with spears. Another time he marched his entire army towards the English Channel in an effort to invade Britain. Upon arrival to the channel, he decided that he no longer wished to invade Britain so he ordered his men to collect seashells before heading home.


13. In the Battle of Crete during WW2, New Zealand’s Maori Battalion was holed up facing a German unit in an orchard. Germans tried to spook them by having their commanders yell out orders to 'fix bayonets' for a bayonet charge. What happened next horrified the Germans. They began to quietly retreat when the Maoris started to cheer (personal close combat was held in great prestige). The Germans decided not to charge and quietly retreated. The name Māori was almost a byword with the British Soldiers. Their continual bayonet charges and the havoc they caused among the Germans with cold steel earned them the name of the ‘Knife Men.’


14. President Andrew Jackson owned a parrot named Poll whom Jackson himself taught how to swear. When Jackson died Poll was present at his funeral. Poll began to curse so loudly and for so long during his funeral that this wicked bird had to be removed from the service as shocked mourners watched.


15. During World War 2, the Soviet Union trained dogs to blow up German tanks. This was achieved by starving the dogs and then placing food under tanks, thus conditioning them that food would be found under the tanks. During the battle, Russians strapped explosives on them and set them free. Since the Russians used their own tanks to train the dogs, they often ran under Russian tanks and blew them up and killed Russian soldiers instead. Their usage was soon discontinued.


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16King Pyrrhus

King Pyrrhus of Epirus died in 272 B.C. while fighting an enemy soldier in the streets of Sparta. The soldier's mother, who was watching their battle from a rooftop, threw a tile that hit Pyrrhus in the head and paralyzed him, allowing the soldier to finish him.


17. Origin of the English national anthem 'God Save the Queen' is not English. It was composed by the French Duchess of Brinon (Grand Dieu sauve le Roi) to celebrate France’s King Louis XIV's healing from anal fistula. At that time the operation was very risky, the operation consisted of opening the infected area (his royal a*s) and giving it a good cleaning. All this had to be done with no anesthesia. George Frideric Handel, a British composer plagiarized the song’s tune having heard it in France with no idea as to why it was written in the first place.


18. The highest-ranking combat casualty in the US Civil War was General John Sedgwick. He was known for riding among his troops who were dodging a sniper’s shots. He once said “I’m ashamed of you, dodging that way. They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance,” at which point he was shot in the head and killed.


19. In 1979 when he was in his fishing boat, U.S. President Jimmy Carter was nearly attacked by an enraged giant swamp rabbit that began swimming toward him. He had to shoo it away. Upon returning to his office, Carter’s staff did not believe his story, insisting that rabbits could not swim, or that they would never approach a person threateningly. The subsequent news articles on the killer rabbit turned out to be incredibly politically damaging.


20. Prague had not one, but two historic defenestrations (the act of throwing someone out of a window). The second one, where two Catholics were thrown out of a 21-meter high window sparked a 30-year long war. The two men survived. According to Catholics, they were caught by the Virgin Mary, while Protestants say they just fell into a dung pile.


21War of the Bucket

In the 1300s, some fellows from Modena stole a bucket from Bologna (both in Italy), resulting in a great deal of humiliation for the Bolognese. They declared war, had a battle with around 2,000 casualties (split between both sides) and failed to reclaim the bucket.


22. During World War 2, a double-agent named Juan Pujol García went by his codename Garbo. Juan was from Spain and had become disgusted by fascism. He wrote letters to the UK and the US saying hey, I’ll spy on Germany for them, but both refused his help. So he went ahead with it without their help. He posed as a Nazi-loving Spanish government official to become a German agent. He was assigned to spy on London, but instead, he went to Lisbon and made up phony reports based on English magazines and newsreels. After a while, the UK realized someone was doing a jolly good job diverting Nazi resources and took him on as a spy. He worked throughout the war, with Germany funding his fake network of imaginary spies. He was responsible for diverting many German troops during the invasion of Normandy. He was also awarded medals by both the Nazis and the Brits for his work.


23. After World War 2, some tribes in the Pacific islands got their first exposure to “civilization” when US military bases were set up on their islands. The military would bring supplies and food with them which the villagers liked. When the war ended, cults formed that built new runways, mimicked army drills, and even built straw planes to try and bring back the “Gods” that gave them food, medicine, and supplies.


24. After the conquest of modern-day Mexico City by Spanish they held king Montezuma hostage. While he was being held hostage, he still had gold and was a king, so he was treated half-decently. One of the Spanish guards accidentally farted in his face. The guard was embarrassed and apologized profusely for humiliating a noble. To show that there were no hard feelings; Montezuma gave the guard a gold piece. The stupid guard then farted again hoping to get another piece of gold.


25. The Dardanelles Operation of 1807 was a fairly minor skirmish during the Napoleonic wars. The Ottomans aligned with the French against Britain and Russia. The British sent a fleet to intimidate the Turks and force them to reopen the strait. As the British fleet sailed towards Constantinople, French engineers worked with the Turkish army to repair and improve shore defenses. Part of this included reactivating a 340-year-old super cannon modeled on the one used in the famed Turkish conquest of Constantinople in the 1400s. This cannon weighed 17 tons and fired stone cannonballs that were two feet in diameter. After meeting little resistance from the Turkish fleet, the British were forced to withdraw after taking heavy damage from the shore batteries, including from the colossal "Dardanelles Gun". So yeah Trebuchets are nice, but can they fire a 360 kg projectile over 2400 meters?

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